I knew from how my rides went last summer, that a ride like this would eventually come! It was the most peaceful miserable ride ever! What do I mean? I mean that all my struggles came internally, not external. It was a beautiful day for cycling! I had no traffic issues at all! And yet, and yet, it was a miserable ride overall. I knew I was in for a grind when after only 23kms of the 80, I already felt like going home, and simply did not want to get back on that bicycle lol, I was miserable. But you know, then I thought about this fundraiser, and I thought about how with mental illnesses we cannot just stop fighting, but we have to keep going, keep trying to find something better, and so I pedaled on! Yes, there were moments of fun, where I was speeding down a hill, or looking at beautiful things-look at that horse photo!-but even during times where my mood normally picks up, it didn't! I felt like I would have to pedal for the rest of my life lol. I said many times that this is not fun anymore he he. Oh, how much my butt hurts from that seat! When I made it to the finish line I was disgusted with my bike, I wanted no more to do with it for a while. It was only the next day that I was glad I kept going! And I firmly know that despite how hard that ride was, dealing with mental illnesses is far harder! A friend made a very valid point, she said to me that the reason why I can tolerate these long rides more than poor mental health days, is that even when struggling badly with my mental illnesses during a ride, I know when cycling that there is a goal in sight, but with chronic mental illness, no true finish line often exists!' This resonated with me deeply, and I agree fully! I am battling some calf issues, and hamstring tenderness, but already I am looking forward to that 90km ride, no not because I think it will be 'fun' but because I hope and believe it will continue to offer encouragement to ones who struggle to keep fighting and pushing! Please, if you have not donated yet to my fundraising journey, and you desire to do so, I welcome you to contribute, and as cliché as this sounds, don't feel like any amount is too small to give! You can find donation links to CMHA-Elgin/Middlesex on this site through the donation tab and on the home page tab. I also encourage you to sign up on this site and become involved in healthy group discussions centred on mental health subjects! Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this, and I hope you are doing well. Take care!
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